


Marik and Bakura Babysit

by offbeatBeauty



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Babysitting, Banter, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Sympathy, Thiefshipping, motherly marik
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-08 09:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11643747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/offbeatBeauty/pseuds/offbeatBeauty
Summary: Bakura actually had a good plan to destroy the pharaoh. Marik and Bakura break into Yugi's home and shenanigans ensue.





	1. Marik is a Genius

The theme song for the Golden Girls rang through the apartment. It had been a solid week since Bakura had left on his grand adventure to who knows where. Marik sat on the couch, hugging a pillow to his chest, violet eyes watching the first episode of the comedy for the 17th time that day. He was bored. Bakura usually entertained him with his plans of Pharaoh destroying. Somehow this was one of those times, something about finding a mystical artifact that allows you to go back in time. How silly does that sound.

"My plan would have worked just fine, but nooooo. He didn't want to put the uniform on." The Egyptian pouted, hugging the pillow tighter. The idea of cheerleaders was perfect. The Pharaoh always had those friends of his cheering him on, all he needed was Bakura to wear the uniform and shake pom poms in the air. Of course he didn't like the idea and burned the pom poms. At this point Golden Girls were getting boring and blurry. Marik rubbed his eyes and stretched, cracking his back before getting up. With his partner in crime gone it was hard to get some sleep with the apartment so quiet. Who knew that he would miss that annoying british accent.

Marik started making some coffee. There were some inventions they didn't have when he lived underground, a coffee maker was one of them. Another great invention was the TV, and the invention of Lifetime, even if Bakura constantly turned it back on the History channel. He lived with Ishizu for so many years, all the information on ancient times was already screwed into his brain. As he waited for the coffee to brew, Marik went down the hall and started turning off a few lights. When Bakura came back he would probably yell at him for a solid hour about electricity saving and how high the bill already was.

The click of the door opening and closing sounded down the hall. A smile formed on his lips and he rushed to the living room. "Bakura!"

 The spirit looked up in time for his partner to tackle him to the ground, the back of his head slamming onto the wood. "Bloody hell Marik..." He groaned in pain and sat up a bit. Marik was clinging to him like a koala. Bakura's cheeks grew some color before clearing his throat, "Can you please get off me?"

 The blond detached his arms and leaned back to sit on his partners stomach. "Why were you gone so long, Bakura? I can only watch Golden Girls so many times in a row before I know every line to every episode."

 "Marik you already knew every line to every episode."

 "Shut up! That's not the point." The smell of coffee wafted through the room, snapping Marik back to what he was doing. Bakura watched as the Egyptian went to the kitchen, looking at the others bottom. It took all of two seconds to realize what he was doing and looked away. Marik got out two mugs and poured the contents into them. The spirit got up, tossing the backpack on the couch. He paused the show and walked over to where Marik was now dancing with the sugar container. Not that he would admit it but he sort of missed the idiot and his erratic actions. "How was your trip? Did you find your magical time piece?"

 Marik slid the mug to Bakura and leaned over the counter with his own mug in hand, watching Bakura with interest, waiting for him to start the story. The spirit rolled his eyes but grinned, sipping the gross liquid. He would take tea over this shit. "Yes, yes I did. It's in the bag. Of course the tale isn't as amusing as you would think. Most of the time I was riding in a car through the desert."

 The spirit got up, unzipping the bag to share his spoils with his partner. "This is the item we needed to defeat the Pharaoh once and for all." He pulled out an hourglass as big as his hand. Its framing was a beautiful gray color, ancient words etched into the sides and base. Marik tilted his head, inspecting the hourglass before looking at Bakura with a blank expression. Bakura raised an eyebrow, "What? Are you not impressed?"

 "You think this was better than my cheerleading idea?" Marik crossed his arms, "I'm disappointed in you Bakura. How is this supposed to help us?"

 "Honestly...." He sighed and held up the hourglass a bit more, "This controls the time of anything, person or object, letting you age it forward or backward. We will use this on the Pharaoh, killing him either in the past or future. The options are incredible." His eyes widened, shadows forming under them. The look was usually present on the spirits face whenever murder was involved. A grin also adorned his face, making him look like the Joker. Marik plucked the item from his pale hands, "So can I use this to make me more sexy? Like that's even possible." He giggled. Bakura took the item back, rolling his eyes.

 "Magical items such as this don't work like that and also even if they did we won't use it on you. That's wasted effort..." His eyes glanced down at the others revealing shirt before shaking his head, putting the hourglass back into the bag. "I say we move tonight. The Pharaoh and his vessel should be asleep by then."

 "Doesn't he have to be awake to use the time thingy on him?" Marik chimed in. Bakura cursed at himself, of course Marik would point out that flaw right away, "Yes. Do you think it's that simple to do? Once we even touch anything in that room the Pharaoh will stop us and that's when we pounce."

 "So we're cats now? Geez Bakura this plan is so complicated. Let me go get my cat ears!" The Egyptian skipped down the hall to his room. Bakura sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

~

"Bakura I'm cold." Marik whined, rubbing his arms, the metal on his arms not helping as it bit at his skin.

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Instead of complaining about the weather how about you make yourself useful and help me carry this ladder." A few more complaining noises before the weight of the metal lifted a bit. The multiple stake out missions with Marik actually proved to be useful. Yugi and the Pharaoh didn't go to sleep until early in the morning. Bakura wasn't effected by how early it was, never sleeping for days. Marik on the other hand wasn't used to this.

 "How on earth do they stay up until three in the morning? What do they even do?" 

 Bakura's cheeks went a rosy color once more. If he told Marik about the time when he fell asleep so he had to take watch, well lets just say they weren't at all playing a children's card game. "Oh you know.....uh trying to derail your evil plans."

 "I knew it. They'll never foil our plans again!" He shouted, which earned a strong 'sshhh' from his partner. They were now outside of the game shop, Yugi's window could be seen from the front but only accessed off to the side. Bakura made sure the ladder was still and let Marik up first. The Egyptian started chanting the Batman theme music under his breath as he climbed. Bakura rolled his eyes and tried focusing on a less annoying part of the other. 

 The spirit was so focused on Marik's butt that he didn't realize the other had stopped climbing, his face running into the beautiful bottom. He backed up quickly, almost knocking over the ladder. "What the hell Marik?"

 "Ssshh Bakura. I'm waiting to open the window."

 "They aren't asleep?"

 "No, I'm just thinking that he looks funny sleeping with his mouth open. That's like the time we were watching Lifetime and you fell asleep with your mouth open and I poured vodka down your throat. Then you punched me."

 He rolled his eyes and scowled, "Yes yes can we just get inside? I thought you were cold?" Marik then slid the window open softly, climbing in, followed by the other. Yugi's room didn't look much like a kids room. It was very bland for Bakura's taste, Marik didn't mind it. The blond was also a minimalist, his bedroom only containing a bed, desk, a plant and an area rug. His closet was another story. Yugi's room was pretty similar.

 Bakura stalked silently to the teenager in bed. Yugi seemed harmless in his sleep, it was weird to think the Pharaoh and him shared the same body. The two were polar opposites, like him and Ryou, but not that different. The millennium puzzle laid on a pillow beside the sleeping teen. A murderous glint returned in Bakura's features as he picked up the puzzle. The puzzle soon began to glow, burning Bakuras hands in the process.

 Marik whirled around, eyes wide with worry as Bakura pulled his hands close to his chest. The Pharaoh, who was now in control of Yugi's body, sat up and looked around. His violet eyes finally landed on the two intruders, eyes narrowing, "What the fuck are you two doing here? And why is my sock drawer open?"

 "Um....no reason." Marik said in a soft voice, closing the drawer and running over to the british man, "Bakura use the time thingy now."

 "I bloody well would if my hands weren't burnt!" He growled at the idiot behind him but his eyes didn't leave the Pharaohs. Marik finally took notice of Bakuras now red hands, clashing with the paleness of the rest of his body. An idea popped into his head, "Well I guess we've been foiled again, Bakura! We are no match for the Pharaoh's pure genius and ability to look good in leather!" He hoped his loud statements would distract Yami long enough for him to grab the time thingy from Bakura's pocket. 

 Surprisingly it worked.

 Yami was now a up on his feet and standing by the bed, arms crossed. "Whatever you two are doing in here I don't want to actually know. The last time you thought you could gain my powers you bought me a cake then proceeded to jump out of it, yelling 'There aren't any bitches! Our surprise is so surprising you'll have no choice but to freeze in shock. Then we can take your power.' Then you tipped over."

 "It was a good plan just not executed well.....it was Bakura's idea." Marik pouted, hiding the artifact behind his back. "Besides, we have an even better plan. One that will make you weak and powerless." 

 "I'd like to see that." Yami rolled his eyes. It took a lot to surprise the Pharaoh, especially when these two were involved. He expected them to do something ridiculous like sing a Lady Gaga song or switch his shampoo for hair dye. What he didn't expect was Marik running at him with an hourglass. The blond used that to his advantage, bowling over the Pharaoh and landing on top of him. Yami's arms were pinned by Marik's legs as he put the hourglass on his chest. "Get off of me!"

 Marik looked pleased with himself but nothing was happening. He raised an eyebrow and glanced at Bakura, "I think it's broken!" Marik was tougher then his appearance made him out to be. While it wasn't impossible, Yami still struggled to get the tombkeeper off him. Marik had to put all his weight on him. Bakura was still in shock that Marik took any initiative in this mission. He quickly snapped out of his daze, rushing over to help his partner hold Yami down. "Try turning it."

 The blond did just that but still nothing happened. He huffed and started slamming the item on the Pharaoh's chest and stomach, "Come on, work!" The Pharaoh grunted and bit down on his lip, "Ow! Watch it you second rate villains!" After a few more moments of struggling, Yami finally managed to fling off the two, out of breath. Bakura wasn't much help with his hands burnt which made it all the more frustrating. 

 "Ahhh stupid relic!" Marik yelled and threw the hourglass at the Pharaoh.

 "Marik no!" Bakura's eyes widened as it collided with the puzzle, shattering it.

 The puzzle buzzed softly, then started to glow. All three pairs of eyes widened as the light grew brighter, engulfing the room. Marik shut his eyes and looked away. Bakura also shielded himself from the harsh rays. Soon the light died down, the room becoming dark once more. Marik blinked and rubbed his eyes, trying to get used to the darkness, the moon helping to shed some light. Bakura groaned, feeling a headache starting to form, "Are you alright Marik?" He stood up and swayed a bit.

 "Yes, I'm fine." They looked around and noticed a lump of clothing laying on the ground along with the millennium puzzle, no sign of the Pharaoh. A moment of silence had gone by before Bakura started to laugh. The laugh wasn't his usual harsh evil one, it was a genuine one, still harsh but as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Marik was still trying to figure out the current situation, "Did he just vanish?"

 "He's finally gone! Marik you did it!" The spirit grinned at his partner and pulled him into a hug. Marik tensed at the physical contact. Bakura never issued out any sort of affection to him, it was unsettling. Bakura pulled away, grinning, "I think this calls for a celebration. How does dominating the world sound?"

 Marik slowly clicked into place what happened and smiled back at the man in front of him, "That sounds great! Shall we take something to commemorate this occasion?" Bakura nodded, "You choose I can't really pick anything up." Marik knew he had to help him when they got back. He scanned the room, thinking. He finally set his eyes on the puzzle and went to pick it up until a small cry interrupted his progress. Bakura heard it as well and froze, "No...no it's not..."

 They both looked at the bundle of clothes and sure enough a baby was swaddled inside. The baby Pharaoh to be exact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or it's characters.  
> I only own the plot/idea involving these beautiful men.


	2. Babysitting Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I never thought this little story would get as many hits as it has. I'll glad people are enjoying it.~ The past chapter I know I had Bakura a bit of OOC but I think if something did happen to Yami then he would do something unexpected, like hug Marik. This chapter is going to be full of grumpy Bakura and motherly Marik, I hope you all enjoy!~

Bakura scowled at TV once more. At this rate he would obtain frown lines before his host turned 20, not that he cared in the slightest. Every ounce of his being screamed at the spirit, urging him to go after the blond who had left a half hour ago. Nothing was worse then this, absolutely nothing else coming to mind. Brown eyes glanced to the other side of the room where a makeshift play pen held the elephant in the room. That elephant being a small thorn in Bakura's existence. "I should destroy you but it'll upset Marik.."

~

Both of the amateur villains stared at the bundle, not sure how this happened or what to do. Bakura couldn't decide if he was more annoyed or furious, looking back and forth between the small Pharaoh and the shattered time piece. Marik scooped up the swaddled baby, his eyes half lidded and a smile appearing on his face, "Well aren't you cute." This made Bakura take a step back. 

"Marik..what are you doing? Put that thing down!"

"It's a baby Bakura. Geez stop being so hostile. He can't do anything in this form anyway. Ah look he grabbed my finger!~" The small Pharaoh was staring at Marik happily, grabbing onto the tan finger, putting it in his mouth. The Egyptian wrinkled his nose but soon felt his heart melt at the small noises. He turned to Bakura, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

Bakura knew that look and shook his head quickly, "Oh hell no! No! I know that look and we are not taking him with us!" He crossed his arms. Marik lifted the baby Pharaoh to his cheek and stared at the British villain with big eyes.

"But look at how cute he is. He's almost as cute as me." That made Bakura roll his eyes. That was a lie, at least the first part. "Let's keep him."

"Marik, we aren't taking our enemy in and taking care of him. If anything we should kill him now while he's defenseless." The idea made Bakura wish he brought his knives. The Egyptian turned, heading to the window. 

"He's not going to hurt us, Bakura. Besides we could totally use this to our advantage." Marik tickled the baby's stomach, getting a fit of giggles as a response.

"Advantage? What do you mean?"

~

The apartment was quiet. Marik had taken this opportunity to go out shopping. Bakura insisted that he should bring the child with him but was stuck on babysitting duty. He glanced over at the baby Pharaoh who proceeded to try and climb the walls. This was the sixth attempt and failure. 

 "The only time you fail at anything it had to be this nonsense." Bakura rolled his eyes, flinging another knife over the pillow barrier, the tip embedding itself into the wall. His collage of metal almost made him smile. He had recently ordered a few more, much to Mariks dismay. They should be arriving today. The door bell rang, tearing Bakura's gaze from the child. The thief got up, checking to make sure it wasn't Marik playing a practical joke, before opening the door.

"Package for Ryou Bakura?" 

"That would be me." Bakura grinned like a child on Christmas morning as he signed and snatched the package from the UPS mans hands, slamming the door closed. The contents of the box clinked together with every step he took. Setting the package down, he went to grab something sharp to cut it open but his hand met with air. He looked over noticing his revolving case that he displayed his collection of knives was empty.  _I must have thrown all of them at that brat._

Bakura walked over to the makeshift pen and froze. The pillow barrier they previously set up had toppled over and a few of the lower hanging knives he threw were missing along with the child. "Bloody hell..." He quickly started tossing the pillows around the room frantically. No sign of the little Pharaoh or the missing knives. He looked over at the clock on the stove. It's been two hours since Marik left, hopefully he won't come back for awhile.  _At the very least I have another hour to find him. He couldn't have gotten far._

 

Marik looked over the receipt. Bottles? Check. Diapers? Check. Formula? Check. Various clothing selections? Well duh. Baby saddle thing? Check. Toys?  _I think I got baby toys. They like racecars right?_ He hoped this will be all they needed for now. The effects shouldn't take too long to wear off, Marik didn't know if he could control Bakura for that long. He hummed his own version of Lady Gaga's hit single 'Born This Way'. Bakura never allowed the pop-queen's music in their home so he tried to make up his own versions to satisfy him whenever it was necessary. 

He maneuvered the shopping bags gracefully to one arm as he dug out the keys and jammed them in the door. His partner in crime would've had a hissy fit if he had been there, scolding Marik about how many keys he had broken doing that. 

"Hey Bakura, guess who got a bargain on-" He froze partway into the door frame, lavender eyes scanning what used to be the living room. The cream colored sofa and matching armchair were tossed on their sides, the innards spilled out on the hardwood floors. The makeshift pillow playpen had been deconstructed in a hurry. The Egyptian softly closed the door and carefully navigated his way to the hallway. Passing the kitchen, he noticed drawers splayed on the counter, silverware, pots, and pans littering the floor. Cabinet doors open, their contents on full display to the public eye. 

 _What happened here?_   _Did we get robbed?_

"Bakura?" He called out, a questioning yet urgency in his voice.

A thumping noise sounded from down the hall, followed by a string of curses before Bakura's lanky frame and wild hair stood in the doorway to the guest room. Marik noticed instantly that Bakura looked sweaty as if he just ran a mile in the desert wearing all black. His white hair clung to his face and neck, slightly taming the usual mess. His eyes flashed in a moment of....fear? Concern? But it was gone the next moment.

"Marik. I-I didn't expect you back so soon."

"I got finished early. The clothes is what took me the longest. I couldn't decided if I wanted "I love my Mommy" or the "I love my Daddy" shirts. Also would I get two because we're both guys or do I get one and put a 's' at the end of Daddy," Marik noticed the slight twitch in his partners posture. Bakura's eyes darting to look off to the side then back to Marik.

"By the way, why does the place look like what happened when I tossed out your leftover tacos?" Before Bakura could answer, Marik noticed out of the corner of his eye his bedroom door was ajar. The bags in Marik's arms dropped to the ground as he strode over in a panic.

"Why is my door open!? Why did you go in here?! I told you never to enter my room, I have my important things in here! Did you look under my bed?!" He walked in and almost had a heart attack, clenching his chest dramatically as if he was in a Shakespearean play. A choked sound the only thing audible. Bakura cautiously followed after him.

"Listen, I know it looks bad but...look it was important and it was one place that I hadn't checked yet." Bakura tried phrasing his explanation but knew Marik wasn't listening. The boy had walked into the center where the casualties lay thrown around the room. Marik picked up a sheer top and glared over his shoulder.

"Do you know......HOW EXPENSIVE THIS ALL WAS?!"

Bakura couldn't help the probably dramatic looking eye roll as Marik glared daggers at him over a a few misplaced shirts. He watched as the man scrambled around the small area, cleaning up the sheer, polyester, Egyptian cotton, and nylon corpses. He never understood the whole fashion thing that Marik boldly claimed to be an expert of. The dead thief had watched one episode of Project Runway with him and he still didn't understand. 

"We have more pressing matters to deal with. The Pharaoh's gone and I've looked bloody everywhere!" He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't realize his choice of words weren't the best until Marik was less then two inches away from his face.

"You LOST him?!" The loudness causing Bakura to wince and step back, "How did you lose him!? He was placed safely in that playpen and you just needed to watch him while I was gone!"

Bakura was taken back by this new Marik. Forget about messing with the man's closet, this news about the child disappearing almost made him scared of the shorter male. "Okay Marik, calm down. We'll find him. He didn't leave the apartment so-"

"Do not tell me to calm down." The former tomb keeper leaned closer, placing his balled up fists on his hips. "One job. Only one. Keep on eye on him which you're pretty damn good at when it comes to your interests. But once I ask you to do it for me then it's suddenly not important!?"

"Now hold on! I never said that! If you would have taken the kid with you then this could have been avoided. Better yet, we could have killed him when we had the chance." He threw up his hands, growling, "But no. I went along with you're motherly intervention. 'Bring the Pharaoh with us.' you said."

"It's not like it was going to happen. This is a kid's show Bakura. 4Kid's censors that." Marik huffed, crinkling his nose.

"Does that even matter in our world?!"

Before Marik could respond, a small whimper came from the living room, freezing both villains in place. Silence filled the air for a few moments, followed by another whimper and then a small cry. Marik bolted down the hallway leaving Bakura baffled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter chapter, mostly cause the what I wanted to happen would make the chapter twice as long as I wanted. The next chapter will be longer I promise.


End file.
